A Few of the Finer Things - December 2015

For the past eight years I have been involved in a group called JACS-it stands for Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically dependent and Significant others. I have someone in my life that had problems with substance abuse in the past. Anyone who has any experience with a friend or family member who struggles with addiction knows that these issues can have quite an impact on not only the addict but also those around them or close to them. I have learned an unbelievable amount from my involvement with this group.

I have learned a lot about acceptance. The key to serenity is acceptance. Acceptance does not mean that I have to like the situation, condone it or even ignore it. What it does mean is I am powerless to do anything about it and I have to accept that.

I have learned that it was not my job to change someone else. If the alcoholic is powerless over alcohol, how much more so am I powerless to try to control the alcoholic’s alcoholism?

I have learned that doing what is best (which sometimes means doing nothing-but allowing consequences to happen) is often extremely challenging. It is a difficult part of the recovery process.

I have learned a lot about boundaries. I have learned how not to be an enabler. I have learned how to say "no". I have learned that I didn’t cause this problem, I can’t control it and I can’t cure it, but I can control how I react to it-I can control my own attitude and expectations.

Through this group I have met people who are going through similar circumstances in their lives, whether they are the addicts themselves or the friends/loved ones of the addicts-a group of loving and compassionate people whom I am very thankful to have in my life. People ask me why I still attend meetings after eight years…my answer is that honing my recovery skills is like being on the driving range for a golfer-if you are not practicing your skills, they are getting rusty and you never know when situations are going to arise when you need your skills to be sharp. It is also a way for me to "pay it forward" to people who are new to this awful situation-when I was new to it there were people there to help and guide me and I am forever grateful for them sharing their knowledge gained through their experience.

If you or anyone you know suffers from addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling, overeating or any other vice, I urge you to seek help from a group like JACS or Al-Anon. If you would like more information about JACS, please feel free to ask me about it or you can email jacsarizona@gmail.com and request information.

- Gary Weiss, December 2015