Reacting To Your Loss: Financial Do’s and Don’ts

October 13, 2023 by Laura Amendola, CFP®, Co-Active® Coach

Your husband’s death can leave you in uncharted waters, not only emotionally and spiritually, but financially as well. Here is a quick checklist to help you build awareness about what to avoid and what tasks to address early on:

• Don’t put your house on the market (doing this too soon is single biggest mistake widows make).
• Don’t give away money to your children or charity.
• Don’t sell stocks, bonds, or any other investments.
• Don’t agree to move in with an adult child.
• Don’t allow a salesperson to talk you into buying financial products such as an annuity or life insurance (these are usually long-term and irrevocable arrangements. You may find you need this money later to fund a financial plan for your future).

There is no rush to begin making financial decisions other than paying the bills to keep the lights on. Please give yourself time to adjust to your new life without your husband in-order to make appropriate financial choices for your future. Focus on just the essential tasks for now.

Do keep everything as status quo as possible.

People tend to want ‘to get things done’, but it’s really important to not make quick decisions that a widow regrets later. Focus instead on just paying the bills and running your house hold as you usually do for at least the first 6 months, if possible – the first full year after your husbands passing.

Do refrain from following your friends’ and family’s financial advice.

Well-meaning friends and family often offer financial advice, and widows go along with it because they’re too exhausted emotionally to deal with their finances themselves—or they feel guilty if they don’t let people “help” them. But this can lead to bad decisions.

Do check on continuation of health insurance benefits.

If you are working, check on COBRA health insurance. If you do not have other health insurance, you can apply for COBRA through your spouse’s former health plan within 60 days of when you would lose coverage or when you receive a notice for electing COBRA.

Do start the process for life insurance benefits.

It typically takes one to six weeks to receive payment, so the sooner you start the process the better. Keep all benefits in money market or savings for 6 months to one year. Just knowing you have this money set aside will often blanket you with a bit of security.

Do get organized.

Organization is the widow’s life vest. To get a handle on where you stand financially, you’ll need to have all your papers—including bank statements, retirement account information, pensions, etc. Don’t get bogged down by trying to figure out what you need and don’t need right now, though. Just put everything that has to do with finances into a box so you will have them when you’re ready.

Do make a checklist of things you need to accomplish.

Once you have the crucial financial items done, the best thing to do is to make lists of the remaining items to get done. I suggest making a general list in a spiral notebook of what you hope to accomplish in three, six, nine, and 12 months. When a question comes up such as looking into any pensions your spouse may have had or dealing with an extra car, you can put these down on the three- or six-month to-do list page. Having all these to-do items in one place and on paper will help your mind to settle until you are ready to deal with them in due time.