Small Actions Big Difference
September 29, 2022 by Laura Amendola, CFP®, Co-Active® Coach
Many widows have shared with me there are times when, “they just need a break from their emotions.” In the midst of grief, it seems that the smallest of activities can have the biggest impact. Here are 14 Actions to Help You Move Through Your Grief:
- Lie in the sun streaming in through your windows. Bathe in the sun and breathe deeply.
- Designate an afternoon or evening and take the phone off the hook.
- When you are worried or obsessing, set up a specific time daily to “worry” for 20 minutes. Set a timer. Write it down. When the time is up, start on an activity you enjoy doing.
- Do something you’re good at. It is important to ground yourself in your skills and abilities, even if the outcome isn’t up to par.
- Wrap up in a warm blanket. Put on relaxation tapes and sip on your favorite tea or hot chocolate! Resist turning on the T.V., listen to soft music instead. Avoid alcohol.
- Dressed in comfortable clothing, find a rocking chair and “rock your troubles away.”
- Especially when you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, forget about making “to do” lists, and instead, at the close of each day, make your list of “what’s been done.” No wonder you’re tired!
- Find something alive to care for: plants, pets, fish, etc.
- Grab a travel mug, fill it up with your morning coffee and head out each morning to experience daybreak while doing light walking. This may give you an ‘uplift’ to start-out each day.
- Spend some time in nature. Eat outside, play with children outside (or sit in a chair to watch them), take a hike with a friend.
- Spruce-up the front entry way to your home. Sweep and add something festive to your door.
- Make a memory box, collage, or journal to store your thoughts and memories.
- Wash off the day. Shower with a soap or shampoo that feels reassuring to you. Pear soap is a favorite. Find the aroma that lets your shoulders drop.
- End on a positive. Show that you intend to honor yourself and your late husband by leaving the day’s troubles behind. Using an inexpensive spiral notebook, close each day before bed recording 5 things to be grateful for that day. Warm sunlight, a soft rain, hearing a wind chime, or perhaps that you smiled or even said good morning to a stranger today. Close the notebook, and go to bed.
This list is a combination of my favorite ideas as well as several items taken from an article written by Chris Rothman, Ph.D. back in 2010 titled Comfort Quickies: Self Care While Grieving.
Chris Rothman, Ph.D.’s article can be found here: https://www.griefcounselor.org/2017/11/07/comfort-quickies-self-care-while-grieving/
Raymond James is not affiliated with Chris Rothman, Ph.D.