Immersing into the Filipino Culture while saying our goodbyes

Before my wife Giselle was a NYC girl, she spent the first 4 years of her life in Manila, Philippines. Having lost both parents as a teenager, she was cared for and looked after by her loving (and from what I’ve heard, very strict Aunt) “Aunt Aida”. Tita Aida very recently passed away in her home in Manila after 86 years of life and her funeral brought us back to the Philippines to celebrate her life. Surrounded by her 3 brothers, their spouses, and their amazing extended family, this is a brief story of our visit.

The 24 hours of flying was made very comfortable as we used a website called “FlyWorldClass.com” to book last minute business class seats on EVA airlines. If you have never booked tickets this way and wish to travel “first class” for less, please ask me for details.

We had last been in Metro Manila over 12 years ago and the landscape had changed dramatically. What once had been populated by tin roof shanty houses were now occupied by towering condominiums and office buildings, certainly a testament to our call to add emerging markets to our portfolios.

We traveled by car to Giselle’s family home in Paranaque, a suburb of Manila. Don’t confuse the term suburb with the USA version. Think more like the historical pictures one sees of the lower east side with crowded uneven streets, no sidewalks and hundreds of “moped tricycles” as the main sources of mass transportation. Seven people on a little moped is more typical than not. Add that to the 100s of Jitneys and you have traffic that would even make those from LA weep.

Greeted by temperatures in the mid 90’s with intense humidity made my Florida skin long for the coolness of a strong “AirCon” room, an indulgence in the Philippines. Fortunately there is “Halo Halo”, the perfect antidote for the heat. This uniquely Filipino treat of shaved ice, evaporated milk, nata de coco (coconut gel), sweet red munggo beans, jackfruit, sweet corn, macapuno (shredded young coconut) is topped with a healthy scoop of Ube ice cream.

After a short stay in Manila (where a 5 hour power outage made for great family bonding on the patio, perhaps this was a sign from Tita Aida?) We began our 9 hour van ride with her family to a province called Lucban. Some of Giselle’s family comes from here and still own land there. It is a few hectares of working property filled with rice paddies, cock fighting rings, natural springs and some of the warmest, friendliest people I have ever met.

Here, there are rental properties where business owners reside as tenants on a live/work setting. Some of the current tenants include a family that raises roosters for cockfighting, a repair shop, metal fabricator for moped tricycles, rice farmers, tilapia farm and several squatters. I have attached a photo here of current residents preparing freshly butchered pig for a celebration the next day, with the remainder of the family washing clothes in the natural spring that flows through the property. Modern infrastructure and power grids have not made it to this part of the Philippines yet and I am curious to revisit here in a decade to see what changes may come.

The second part of our journey was yet another 5 hours of twisted single lane roads which took us to Giselle’s ancestral home of Daet and Vinzons. Anchored by a 17th century church, this was the home to the Balces’ and Fermos’ for many centuries. Over the years, I have heard stories of her family being part of the resistance and hiding in the forest during the Japanese Occupation of WWII. Seeing the landscape here, these tales now come to life. Please be sure to ask me about my walk down the street that turned into a race for my life trying to evade the wild dogs and roosters!

One Filipino tradition regarding their deceased, is that a family member must accompany the remains at all times before the actual funeral service. This vigil takes place 24/7 as family takes shifts in the funeral home. During this time, the family was visited by friends, family, Tita Aida’s former students (she was a school teacher) and even a group of 15 women who travel around town together. Their sole purpose was to pray collectively for the soul of the deceased. They did this a few times a day, and all they asked in return was to sit in a cool place as they snacked on food provided for them. This was a beautiful display of family and honor for Tita Aida. This is very similar to sitting Shiva in the Jewish tradition but substitute Sigsig (chopped, fried and spiced pig head) for pastrami on rye.

The funeral was held over the final day in Vinzons on a street named after Giselle’s grandfather, F.O Balce, in a 17th Century Spanish Church (Parroquia de San Pedro Apostol). Our Niece Nikki performed a beautiful hymn in Tagalog as family and friends paid our final respects before the short ride to the family burial grounds.

While I try to end all my missives with a clear investment theme, this finale needs to be different. The lesson to be learned and reminded of is one of the Family. Aida Fermo never had children of her own. Instead, she contributed her time and money to make sure her nieces, nephews and cousins all had the opportunity to get an education. She helped raise the 4 children of her sister and in turn their 11 grandchildren and countless nieces and nephews. The part of this that stayed with me the entire visit, was that Aida never asked for acknowledgement or thanks or repayment. She believed it was her life’s work to help her family even if it meant sacrificing her personal life. Her last remaining sister (2 brothers had just passed away in the earlier months of 2018) says Aida was born to be the martyr. Sadly, Aida passed before we arrived and were unable to express our final gratitude. Without exception, each family member expressed what they wish they would have told her when she was alive. Don’t wait to tell your loved ones how important they are to you.

Rest in peace, Aida Fermo, you will never be forgotten.