What is Empathic Distress?
I have written about and quoted Wharton professor and New York Times bestselling author, Adam Grant, in this space before (Finer Things - December 2019). He continues to be one of my favorite authors, as well as a favorite person to follow on social media. I find the writings of this organizational psychologist to be original, thought provoking, and inspiring.
He recently posted something that hit me very personally as I, like many of us, have struggled to comprehend the terrorist attacks in Israel and the sadness that overcame me in the ensuing days. He wrote:
“It’s not just seeing suffering that’s painful. It’s hurting for others while feeling unable to help.
There’s a term for that helplessness: empathic distress. Over time, it leads to burnout and withdrawal.
If you’re overwhelmed and exhausted by a heavy heart, you are not alone.”
Despite the barrage of constantly breaking stories and the variety of news and podcasts I consume, that brief yet poignant post resonated and stuck with me well beyond the moments of initial consumption.
When I first learned of the recent atrocities against Israel and humanity, I was saddened to an extent unlike anything I had experienced since the U.S. attacks on September 11, 2001. And while back then I had confidence that our country would rally together and overcome the evil and hatred behind it, I am less confident today. I take great comfort in the kind gestures of so many of my non-Jewish friends and contacts who reached out to send love, ask questions, or simply acknowledge the horror. But I grapple with understanding how anyone can urge Israel to “have restraint” and “think of the humanitarian cost” while the country defends itself.
I stand behind what Israel’s Energy Minister, Yisrael Katz, had to say about such “restraint.” He confirmed that Israel will not reconnect Gaza’s electricity supply until the hostages held by Hamas are released. He stated, “Humanitarian aid to Gaza? No electrical switch will be turned on, no water pump will be opened and no fuel truck will enter until the Israeli abductees are returned home. Humanitarianism in exchange for humanitarianism. No one can preach morality to us.”
In my 31-years of serving in this profession, though my perception is admittedly skewed by the shoes in which I walk, I have seen a great deal of world events, crisis, and obstacles for us to overcome as we move forward as a global community. And while this devastation in particular seems despicably daunting, all I can do is reflect on the aftermath of September 11th, the financial crisis of 2007-2009, and even the COVID-19 pandemic of 2020 and the ensuing political polarization of our country. We have continued to move forward, even if not as gracefully or gainfully as we would like.
I, and likely many of you (and many of those around us), am suffering from empathic distress. May we all have the strength to get through these most difficult times and enjoy better days ahead.
-Gary Weiss, November 2023
