A guide for adult children planning travels with parents.
When you think about your childhood, do fond memories of family vacations flood your mind? There’s been a resurgence of family vacations – multigenerational trips where parents, adult children and even grandchildren plan an adventure together.
AdventureSmith Explorations says multigenerational bookings have grown at a rate of 35% per year over the past three years, and MMGY Global’s study of American travelers found 40% of all active leisure travelers have taken at least one multigenerational trip over the last year.
Going on vacation together not only provides the opportunity to relax and explore, but it gives families the time and space to reconnect and deepen bonds. Planning a multigenerational trip isn’t without its challenges, as it requires taking a variety of ages, preferences and other factors into account.
But it’s well worth the effort – resulting in memories your family will cherish forever.
Once you’ve decided to take a trip together, the first thing to consider is the destination. With multiple generations present, you’ll have varying abilities to accommodate. This shouldn’t just inform the activities you plan while on your trip but should help you determine what locale is suitable for everyone as well.
Since the planning phase is an exciting part of anticipating an upcoming vacation, solicit ideas from everyone. You’ll get a sense of the season, destination, length of trip and cost that everyone is comfortable with. By incorporating everyone’s input, you can better the chances everyone will end up having a good time.
If you don’t see your parents often, spend time with them prior to your trip. This will give you a better understanding of their capabilities before you embark on your journey. You might picture them with the energy and endurance they had the last time you vacationed together – and that may have changed.
Your family may have favorite destinations or types of vacations you tend to take. Of course, that can be a good place to start when brainstorming ideas. Cruises are popular trips because they offer a variety of destinations – from Alaska to the Caribbean – and you can be as active (think, excursions) or relaxed (cocktails by the pool) as you wish.
U.S. national parks are often on people’s bucket lists and might also be a good option. They can accommodate a range of abilities – from those who want to look out at the Grand Canyon Rim to those who paddle through it in a canoe. (Bonus: For a one-time fee of $80, Americans aged 62 or older can get the National Park Service’s lifetime senior pass for admittance to every national park.)
When you’re traveling, you may be programmed to make the most of every minute at your destination. But, if you’re traveling with aging parents and possibly little ones, consider keeping some kind of routine. If you keep the same bedtimes or mealtimes, it can help, especially if your parents have medical issues that require timing medication, for example. Go with the flow and realize you might need to take things slower than usual.
When vacationing with a big group, keep everyone organized by making an itinerary. While it can feel controlling, it’ll ensure you all get time together – and apart. Schedule in breaks so that people get their personal time and know when they can rest. Younger family members may opt to check in with their friends on devices and older family members may decide to put their feet up for a bit. While the trip is about spending time together, everyone needs alone time, especially if you’re with those you normally don’t spend a lot of time with.
If you feel the pressure to do all the planning, find a few preplanned activities that don’t require too much preparation. Maybe it’s a sightseeing bus tour, where you don’t have to do the research about where to stop, or a class of some kind, like a wine tasting where you can just partake and enjoy with the group. This will help you relax too, instead of trying to do all the organizing yourself.
Another option is to share the responsibility of planning. Give others a chance to be a tour guide for the day. Your mother-in-law might think of an activity or book a restaurant you wouldn’t have considered, which can make the trip more interesting. Assign a daily activity to a few different family members or even just ask them to pick where breakfast will be the next day. This will not only spread around the responsibility but also allow everyone to incorporate their own wishes into the vacation.
It’s easy to feel like you’re compromising your prized vacation time if your parents have limits that prevent you from doing everything on your bucket list. But remember, the whole reason for taking this trip is to make memories and strengthen relationships. After all, this trip will be the one you’re reminiscing about a decade from now. If you keep the purpose of family bonding time at the forefront of your mind, it’ll be easier to savor the moments that lead to everlasting memories.
Traveling with your parents can not only be fun but it can be therapeutic to rekindle that bond in your adult years. It’s a great opportunity to get to see your parents in a different light and get to know each other better as adults. You may notice that you’re curious like your dad who’s always looking for the next hike, or artistic like your mom who wants to stop in every gallery in the historic district. This can spawn feelings of deep connection and allow you to reflect on where some of your own proclivities came from.
Before you book a trip together, have an open conversation about the expected expenses. During the planning conversation, be clear about who is paying for what. This way everyone can make their own determination about whether it fits into their budget. While it may feel awkward to talk about money with family, it’ll be more comfortable to address it before commitments are made.
You may know if your parents budgeted for travel in their retirement and are able to take a trip. But, if that’s not the case, you may decide to offer to cover a portion of the trip’s costs, like the flight or the accommodation, so they can make it work. This can apply to your child in college too. If they’re on a strict budget, they may not be able to take a vacation without a little financial help.
Depending on how many families are going, think about spreading the costs around. If there are three adult children taking mom on vacation, maybe you determine you’ll each chip in for her if she wouldn’t otherwise be able to travel. If several families are staying together, consider sharing the cost of groceries or eating out by alternating who treats. Of course, in some families and cultures, parents may find it unacceptable for their children to foot the bill for them at all.
A recent study asked 1,500 American adults if parents should pay for adult children’s vacations when traveling as a family.
The bottom line is that everyone’s financial situation is different, and you shouldn’t assume what people can afford, which is why it’s important to talk about it upfront.
There’s no doubt that vacations are good for your soul. The benefits span stress relief and awe-inspiring experiences to mindfulness and appreciation for the little things in life. And going with those you love the most allows you to strengthen those connections as adults and even start or carry on family traditions that can continue for generations. If you navigate the planning process and preparation effectively, you’ll set sail on smooth waters and be free to make memories that will last a lifetime.
Sources: care.com; aarp.org; milesforfamily.com; fivestarseniorliving.com; frommers.com; tallgirlbigworld.com; leisuregrouptravel.com; countryliving.com; newsweek.com
