A Time for Reflection

“You may believe that living life to the fullest is seeing every country in the world and quitting your job on a whim and falling recklessly in love, but it’s really just knowing how to be where your feet are. It’s learning how to take care of yourself, how to make a home within your own skin. It’s learning how to build a simple life you are proud of. A life most fully lived is not always composed of the things that rock you awake, but those that slowly assure you it’s okay to slow down. That you don’t always have to prove yourself. That you don’t need to fight forever, or constantly want more. That it’s okay for the things to be just as they are. Little by little, you will begin to see that life can only grow outward in proportion to how stable it is inward – that if the joy is not in the little things first, the big things won’t fully find us.”
–Brianna Wiest, from the book 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think

By Josh J. Miles

I'm currently reading "The Power of Moments" by Chip Heath and Dan Heath. Chip teaches at Stanford Graduate School of Business, while his brother Dan is a senior fellow at Duke University's CASE center, supporting entrepreneurs driving social change.

Their book delves deep into why certain experiences profoundly impact our lives while others fade away. One of the greatest perks of my job is hearing your stories and the moments you share with your loved ones. This book helps us understand what factors into memorable moments.

Chip and Dan break down defining moments into four key elements:

Connection: These are the social events that strengthen the moment through shared experiences. There's something invaluable about bonding over shared experiences with loved ones.

Elevation: These moments rise above the everyday and provide unforgettable joy. They're truly "extra-ordinary". For instance, your daughter's wedding day or attending a concert of your favorite musician.

Insight: These are the moments that change our understanding of ourselves or the world around us. It could be a moment of realization that leads to action or a profound insight that changes us forever.

Pride: These are the moments that capture us at our best. For example, being recognized for your community service or winning a state championship in tennis.

Thinking in moments requires us to pay attention to transitions, milestones, and pits:

Transitions are the obvious changes in life, like getting married or starting a new job.

Milestones are cultural markers, such as graduating from high school or turning twenty-one.

Pits are the opposite of peak moments. They're the challenging times of hardship, loss, or anxiety.

To make these moments powerful, we should mark transitions, celebrate milestones, and support each other through the pits with empathy and kindness.

Reflection on Sending a Child to College

It's been a decade since Erica and I last prepared to send one of our children off to college. With a ten-year gap between our oldest two daughters and our younger three kids, our youngest daughter is now transitioning to college this fall.

These significant life events prompt us to pause, reflect, and ensure we've covered all our parenting bases before sending our kids into the world. We're not alone in feeling a bit unprepared for this moment that's been eighteen years in the making. It seems to have crept up on us somehow. We find ourselves engaged in many conversations with our kids as they prepare to enter this next phase of their lives.

This is where the quote at the beginning of this post resonates with us. We've shared it with our kids as they get ready to step out on their own. We recognize this as a pivotal moment of transition. We want to ensure they carry a strong sense of self, an understanding of what truly matters, and a foundation that will guide them as they navigate their own paths.

Bringing It Back to Finance

When we sit down to create a financial plan with our clients, we often delve into the tangible aspects of their financial goals: travel, second homes, college expenses, and more. These discussions are crucial for building a solid financial foundation. However, I've come to realize that true success in financial planning goes beyond achieving these goals.

True financial success, in my view, is not just about reaching these milestones, but about aligning our financial decisions with our core values. It's about using our resources to create moments that matter, not just for ourselves but for those we care about.

For example, while saving for retirement is important, it's equally important to think about how we want to spend our retirement years. Do we want to travel the world, volunteer for causes we're passionate about, or simply spend more time with family and friends? By aligning our financial goals with our values, we can ensure that we're not just planning for a secure future but also for a fulfilling one.

In addition, financial planning is not just about preparing for the future; it's also about living in the present. It's about finding a balance between saving for tomorrow and enjoying today. It's about celebrating the small victories along the way and finding joy in the journey, not just the destination.

As we navigate life's financial decisions, remember that our values should be our guide. We want to use our resources not just to build wealth but to create a life that is rich in meaning and purpose.