We Are All Terminal
By Josh J. Miles
“You can’t change what happened, but you can always change what happens next.” – Matt Miles
I
In early 2017, my brother Matt was diagnosed with stage IV gliosarcoma brain cancer. The diagnosis typically carries with it an extremely low probability of living beyond six months. On June 11, 2023, my brother finally lost his battle with cancer – over six years after he was given six months to live.
Matt, who continued to coach college baseball in Oregon through the 2020 season, was quoted in an article written about his battle with cancer as saying, “the situation has opened my eyes to how beautiful life is and I am so thankful for the time I have with my family, friends and the opportunity to coach such great, hardworking young men.” His gratitude was real. Even as Matt endured radiation, chemotherapy, additional brain surgeries, his answer to how he was feeling or doing was always, “Great!” And he meant it. His discipline and positivity carried him through those early days when everyone, including his doctors gave him little chance to see his youngest son graduate four months after his original surgery. Matt fired his first oncologist because “he was too negative.” And that started what would be six more years of living.
II
I have written in the past that we grew up with sports as the glue that bound us brothers together. If it wasn’t round or you couldn’t throw it, we had nothing to do with it. Sports were our life.
As soon as Matt was given the approval to travel (post brain surgery), my dad, my oldest brother Tim and I took Matt to Arizona to see Spring Training baseball. Matt’s first surgery was at the end of February 2017 and by the second week of March we were taking in the warm Phoenix air watching our favorite team play our favorite game.
Left to right: Matt, Josh, Tim and father, Danny at a Giants spring training game in the spring of 2017. Two weeks after Matt’s first brain surgery.
Looking back, my mind was certain that Matt would not survive the upcoming summer and that was going to be our last opportunity to spend time as brothers doing what we loved. Not only did we go to games each day, we played wiffle ball when we weren’t at games. We were in our mid- to late 40’s playing a kids game laughing, needling one another and still playing with a little bit of brotherly competition. I can still vividly remember the field on which we played. The green grass, the sun, the smells – as if it were yesterday.
Here is the point, my brother’s and I had not been to a game together for over a decade up to that point. We wasted 10 years with the thought that, “we will do it again – someday.” Someday. Some day. What day? When? If it had not been for Matt’s diagnosis, the “someday” may not have even happened yet. We are now in our 50’s and my brother is not able to join us next year. Tim and I will never get hit in the head with one of Matt’s wild fastballs again. We will never sit in the stands and marvel at Matt’s ability to recall a player’s statistics from 1984. Matt and I cannot rib Tim about his penchant for tank tops or his steadfast love for his “naked mole rat” hair style.
But there is more to this story. Because Matt fought so hard and lived his life with an unwavering positivity, he lived another six years. I mean, LIVED.
III
In baseball, there is a count (balls and strikes) that is uniquely in the hitter’s favor. When a hitter has three balls and one strike, the pitcher must throw a strike or risk walking the batter (giving him the free pass to first base). In this count, the batter can simply swing for the fences because even if he misses, he has another chance as the count goes to three balls and two strikes (full count). Matt wore a shirt that summed up how he lived his life over these past six years, it said, “LIVE LIFE LIKE A 3-1 COUNT.” And he did. He swung for the fences, every day.
We went to Spring Training again in 2018. Matt and his wife (Bev) traveled to their favorite place – Monument Valley before coming back through Nevada to play Wolf Creek – a longtime goal of his. Matt played golf over four days a week over the past 6 years, as a golf club in his hometown provided him with free golf during his battle. Matt and Bev celebrated their 30th anniversary in Cincinnati watching Matt’s favorite NFL team, the Bengals in 2021. Matt came to Idaho a few times where once he and I were able to play 72 holes in 48 hours up in McCall. For my 50th birthday in the fall of 2021, we took Matt and Tim to England where we were able to spend 10 days together adventuring across the country. We played golf, visited more than our share of pubs, and I even tried to introduce Matt to “real football,” which he quickly rejected. Our families came together in February of 2022 at the Oregon Coast to watch the Bengals in the Super Bowl. The brothers were able to see the Giants home opener in 2022 in San Francisco. And Matt helped us remodel a house on the Oregon Coast (Matt was a builder before coaching) before his cancer began to take his health away in 2022. Finally, Matt walked his daughter down the aisle in February 2023, five days after his final exploratory surgery at Stanford University.
IV
We were able to build memories that are worth more to me now than I can express. Matt has changed me, the way I think about the future and what it means to “plan.” In planning, our job is to balance the tension between living NOW and making sure we have enough if we are fortunate to see our 90’s. But I hope you will please forgive me if I get passionate about your NOW. We are not guaranteed tomorrow and there comes a point where your future is secure and the focus must turn toward living in the moment. Doing is greater than later. I often say that we will never be younger or likely in better health than we are right now. As Matt so appropriately pointed out in an interview when asked about his terminal prognosis, “So is life. We are all terminal.”
Let’s collectively make the choice do the things that bring us closer to our family, friends and loved ones because in the end, we will not be taking anything with us and for those left behind, it will be the shared memories that will live on. We cannot change the past, but we can change what happens next!
In loving memory of the most positive, spirited brother I could ever ask for,
Photo Gallery
Josh, Tim and Matt at Spring Training in 2018.
Josh and Matt golfing in McCall, ID. This was during our 72 holes in 48 hours marathon.
Tim, Matt and Josh at Salishan Golf Course in Lincoln City, OR in 2021.
Josh and Matt at Formby Golf Club outside of Liverpool, England. Fall of 2021.
Josh and Matt in at Caernarfon Castle, Wales.
At Wallasey Golf Club outside of Liverpool. Where the Stableford scoring system was designed.
Outside of York Minster Cathedral. York, England.
Inside the Cavern Club. Liverpool, England. Made famous by the Beetles.
On the Tower Bridge. London.
Josh, Erica, Kirby, Matt, Maude and Ripley on a hike in the Lake District, Northern England.
Matt was not impressed with the “beautiful game.” Pictured here with his brothers at a West Ham match.
Rebuilding shore house in 2021.
Our mom and dad at Matt’s daughter’s wedding in 2023. Four months prior to Matt’s passing.
The information contained in this report does not purport to be a complete description of the securities, markets, or developments referred to in this material. The information has been obtained from sources considered to be reliable, but we do not guarantee that the foregoing material is accurate or complete. Any opinions are those of Josh Miles and not necessarily those of Raymond James. Expressions of opinion are as of this date and are subject to change without notice.
