Emotions hold a significant influence over us, and it’s normal to experience an emotional reaction when dealing with our financial situations. However, it’s crucial to question whether we should allow our emotions to hold such power over our financial decisions.
Despite our best efforts, it’s challenging to detach our feelings from our finances because our money habits are formed from an early age. For instance, even when we recognize the importance of saving over spending, we might still struggle to change our behavior because we have an emotional attachment to spending. And although it provides us with a sense of pleasure, it may also lead to a destructive habit of not saving enough.
Let’s delve deeper into how we develop our money habits and explore strategies to remove emotions from our financial decision-making process.
Do you sometimes feel like the discipline to make rational and well-thought-out financial decisions must be too good to be true? Because no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to stick to it? Well, I am sure there are others that feel the same way. These feelings are not uncommon and are most likely due to the emotional and psychological baggage we all carry around relating to our money, otherwise known as our money scripts. And, as with most of the baggage we’ve lugged into our adult lives, these scripts usually start forming at a very young age.
Even though we may not be aware of it, we spend our childhood picking up on how our parents and other significant role models relate to and handle money, and over time, our brains are subconsciously trained to respond in similar ways. If your parents were confident in their ability to make wise investments, you will likely face investing with confidence as well. Contrarily, if you experienced your parents scrounging to get by and often quarreling over expenses, you may experience some pretty strong feelings of guilt when making certain purchases.
The seeds of money scripts are planted in childhood, watered by observation, and eventually grow to influence your emotional beliefs about finances as an adult. For this reason, it is vital to be intentional and diligent in talking to your kids about money and modeling healthy financial behaviors. It is just as important to take the time to examine yourself and understand your money scripts and how they influence your financial behavior.
To be fair, not all money scripts are bad. Some behaviors we learn plant seeds for beneficial emotions about finances. However, other behaviors, such as money avoidance, focus on financial status, or the idolization and even worship of money, can be flat-out detrimental. Unhealthy emotions and belief patterns can lead to all kinds of financial problems, such as financial infidelity, compulsive buying, pathological gambling, and financial dependence. Certain money scripts have been tied to lower levels of net worth, lower income, and higher amounts of revolving credit.
Those may sound extreme, but have you ever let panic during a market downturn take your focus off of your long-term investing plan? Have you ever been unable to make a decision because you were paralyzed with worry and anxiety about the future? Have you ever wreaked havoc on your budget for the momentary high of acquiring something you really wanted? All of these behaviors stem from your personal money script.
We often think that if we had more money, we wouldn’t have any problems. But we have money problems because of how we approach money, not necessarily because we don’t have enough. This is good news! We might not be able to drastically increase our income, but we can learn to control our attitudes and perceptions. Our money scripts may be ingrained from childhood, but they are not permanent. With a focused and concerted effort, they can be changed.
The first step you must take in overcoming your money scripts is to identify them. To do this, you must become aware of your emotional responses to common financial situations. Begin to stop and notice your emotional responses to these common experiences:
How do these things make you feel? Anything that elicits strong emotions warrants further reflection. Keep in mind that negative emotions are not the only ones that can harm your financial life. Some positive emotions, like optimism and self-confidence, can bring about negative results if unwarranted and left unchecked.
The key to changing your money scripts and developing healthier money habits is learning to control your emotions. You can also build some new, healthy habits that protect you financially and incorporate them into your life. Habits and disciplines such as taking advantage of automatic savings, investing through your bank or employer’s retirement plan, scheduling regular family budget meetings, and enlisting the help of someone reliable to keep you accountable are great places to start. Eventually, you will learn how you respond to emotional triggers and you can then take steps, like mandating a “cooling off” period for yourself, before making any decisions.
Finally, you need to be willing to forgive yourself when you make mistakes. Leave the past in the past and move forward with the new knowledge you have gained. Choosing to forgive yourself for past mistakes frees you up to be more effective with your new tools. As you begin to collect victories, both big and small, you will likely find it even easier to extend forgiveness.
Choosing a financial planner is a significant decision, and it’s crucial to work with someone you feel comfortable with. Remember that financial planning is a continuous process, and I’m here to support you every step of the way. If you’re interested in learning more, schedule a 20-minute introductory call at (631) 319-6777 or schedule a no-obligation introductory meeting by emailing me atdaniel.staiger@raymondjames.com. Let’s determine whether I’m the right fit to assist you on your financial journey.
Daniel Staiger is a partner at Matarazzo Staiger Wealth Management and Financial Advisor with Raymond James Financial Services. Matarazzo Staiger Wealth Management is an Independent Practice and our team is committed to helping families, pre-retirees, and union employees build a sense of security and confidence around their financial future. With more than 10 years of experience, Daniel is dedicated to providing trusted advice and tailored solutions that help his clients realize their financial potential. He is known for building relationships with his clients so he can better understand their values and the goals they want to pursue. As a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ and Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor℠ professional, Daniel specializes in serving union employees, such as tradespeople and teachers, with well-thought-out guidance and a personal touch. When he’s not working, Daniel spends his time pursuing interests such as guitar, volleyball, golf, and cooking. He is also an active member of his church. To learn more about Daniel, connect with him on LinkedIn.
Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc. owns the certification marks CFP®, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™, CFP® (with plaque design) and CFP® (with flame design) in the U.S., which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board's initial and ongoing certification requirements.
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The foregoing information has been obtained for sources considered to be reliable, but we do not guarantee that it is accurate or complete, it is not a statement of all available data necessary for making an investment decision, and does not constitute a recommendation. Any opinions are those of Daniel Staiger and not necessarily those of Raymond James.
