Money is a vine
Many of us were taught at a young age that it’s not polite to talk about money. Whether you have it or not, you don’t bring it up, you don’t ask questions. This creates a taboo around money that can then lead to avoidance, which is generally not a good strategy financially or otherwise. But money does not exist in a vacuum. Financial issues have a way of weaving and vining into the many aspects of our lives, from our careers to our relationships and even our health.
What I have found over the years—and continue to be fascinated by—is that the same strategies that are effective for dealing with those other aspects of our lives are the ones that will help us make good financial decisions. When we have clarity around what is important to us, what we are trying to accomplish, and we are able to match our actions with those values and goals, we get from A to B. This sounds simple but is not always easy. When we are living in alignment with our goals and values, we feel fulfilled. Conversely, when there is a mismatch between goals and actions, there is pain. The pain leads to shame. The shame leads to inaction and avoidance. It’s a classic death spiral and it’s how the best intentions end up dying on the vine. (If you’re a Star Wars fan, you may be reminded of a similar death spiral described by Yoda: “Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Was Yoda ever wrong? But I digress.)
A vine is by definition a “plant whose stem requires support.” If again we think of money as a vine, and we want to see it flourish, we need to consider the environment that provides that support. This is why as an advisor, I like to explore the many ways that finances intersect with so many other aspects of our lives and affect our overall well-being. As I recently discussed with podcast guest Nancy Phillips, Growing from trauma, the root of the word “wealth” is “wela,” which means well-being. The root is literally well-being!
In reviewing your financial well-being, we will look to your roots and other areas of support. In good times or in bad (see also: pandemic), this is a constant. If you feel like you are withering on the vine because your income is down, you have lost your income, or for any reason really—don’t fall into the death spiral. Don’t wait until “things get better” to address your situation. Let’s get together, let’s talk about the issues. We may not be able to solve them overnight, but we can get you moving in the right direction, with support.
