Loosen Your Grip

I love it when work, education, and inspiration all come together. And that’s exactly what happened last week, as I had the pleasure of attending the 25th Annual Women’s Symposium with over 400 fellow Raymond James women advisors. Women are still very much a minority in this industry at about 15% and this conference celebrates, encourages, and supports all that women bring to the table. I always leave feeling inspired to improve my practice, my team, myself.

With sessions ranging from economic outlook and socially responsible investments to the impact of longevity and caring for aging parents, it’s impossible to leave the conference without learning something new. Inspiration was delivered by Colonel Nicole Malachowski, USAF (Ret), who gave the opening keynote address. A combat veteran, an F-15E Flight Commander, Evaluator, Instructor Pilot and Flight Lead, she was also the first female U.S. Air Force Thunderbird pilot. As the conference kicked off on September 11, her talk held a heightened level of gravitas. The entire ballroom listened in awe as she humbly shared her inspirational story of personal courage, overcoming self-doubt and breaking barriers over her 21 year Air Force career.

She credited the men who supported and championed her, and helped make her career possible. Imagine the level of trust that is necessary to fly in the Thunderbird formations —the wings of the aircraft are sometimes just 18 inches apart! Women have come a long way in many fields—and it wouldn’t be possible without the support of men in leadership.

One piece of insight was particularly powerful, on both a personal level and in my work with clients. She recalled how she had struggled with the aircraft under challenging conditions, until her teammates pulled her aside and clued her in. It turns out that during times of turbulence, fighting the elements doesn’t work. Instead, you need to "loosen your grip."

Yep, that’s right. During times of turbulence, loosen your grip.

While I’ve never had to fly an aircraft under any circumstances, favorable or otherwise, this immediately resonated with me. I have seen what happens when a grip is too strong—and the outcome is usually not favorable. Parents gripping too tightly onto their children’s lives.

Management gripping too tightly onto minutia. People gripping too tightly onto markets that they can’t control, causing their emotions to spiral out of control.

I have said many times, that the most successful clients have a "healthy level of detachment" from their money. It doesn’t define them. Whether it goes up or down, their financial net worth is not a reflection of their self-worth. With a plan in place and the understanding that the markets—like many aspects of life—can be bumpy, they don’t try to outmaneuver a volatile market. Essentially, they loosen their grip, or in a lot of cases, maintain their already loose grip.

As someone who had the rug pulled out from under me when I was younger, I have a personal tendency to grip too tightly. Just ask anyone who’s given me a tennis lesson, or had me in an art class (pottery was a particular disaster). And here I was, being told yet again, that in order to overcome obstacles, and to truly soar, yield a little. Relax.

With that one piece of advice, Nicole demonstrated her brilliance as an instructor. We will all deal with the elements in our personal and business lives. But we don’t have to be in an aircraft to soar.

Any opinions are those of Karen Coyne and not necessarily those of RJFS or Raymond James. There is no assurance any of the trends mentioned will continue or forecasts will occur. Any information is not a complete summary or statement of all available data necessary for making an investment decision and does not constitute a recommendation. Investing involves risk and you may incur a profit or loss regardless of strategy selected.