Escape from 'Retirement Hell'

Most of us dream about a comfortable, secure, fun-filled retirement – a worry-free heaven on earth. But what do you do when Retirement Heaven turns into Retirement Hell?

In their new book, Retirement Heaven or Hell: 9 Principles for Designing Your Ideal Post-Career Lifestyle, Michael Drak and his co-authors sketch out three distinct phases that many retirees go through, sometimes successfully, sometimes not.

Stage 1: The Honeymoon Stage. The early days of retirement can be pure joy: go to bed when you feel like it, sleep as late as you want, play golf every day if that’s your thing. There’s also plenty of time to catch up on your to-do list, household projects that you never had time to tackle when you were working, for example.

This phase typically lasts up to a year before a new reality sets in. Maybe golf gets a little repetitive, and every item on the honey-do list gets checked off. You need to find something else to do, a bigger plan or purpose. If you don’t, you can quickly slide into Stage 2.

Stage 2: Welcome to Retirement Hell. This phase of retirement can take many forms, none of which is pleasant:

• You start spending most of the day watching TV because there’s nothing better to do.
• You start regretting the things you could have done – should have done – with your life.
• You harbor bad feelings about your last job and how you left it, and your resentment increases over time.
• You stop sleeping well at night because you’re worried about outliving your savings.
• You have to go back to work at a job you dislike just to make ends meet.
• You lose the energy and desire to visit new places and do new things.
• You and your spouse begin arguing more, growing apart, possibly even leading to divorce later in life.
• You start drinking too much, eating too much, or shopping too much – just to dull your boredom and pain.
• You develop a health condition that’s treatable, but you lack the money to pay for it.

Being unprepared for retirement, both emotionally and financially, can lead to what Drak calls Sudden Retirement Shock, a feeling of being lost and vulnerable. And can you imagine how much tougher these challenges have been for new retirees during the pandemic?

Stage 3: Escaping from Retirement Hell. To escape Stage 2 – or better yet avoid it altogether – begin with self-awareness and a commitment to start doing the right things for you.

Begin by taking small steps that you can constantly build on:

• Every day, exercise, eat better, and watch less TV.
• Get out that to-do list and start adding new projects to it. Crossing them off when you finish them will make you feel good.
• Reflect on what you manage to complete each day. It will boost your self-esteem and confidence.
• Build some structure and routines in your life.
• Make new friends and cultivate relationships. Expand your social network.
• Do things that are outside your comfort zone: explore, learn, get excited about something.

My advice is to enjoy Stage 1, but have a plan to move directly into Stage 3 when your retirement honeymoon is over.

I say this to our clients all the time, and I say it to you: Don’t retire from something. Retire to something that’s even better. Always have something to look forward to. Design the rest of your life to be the best of your life.

Raymond James is not affiliated with Michael Drak, nor do they necessarily endorse his publications. All opinions are those of the author and not necessarily those of Raymond James.